


wither

by thespacebetweenstars



Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Early Relationship, Existentialism, Fluff, Hope, Hurt/Comfort, Isolation, M/M, Touch-Starved, contains elements from ghost stories and cassettes and such but not direct spoilers, it’s a little messy but that’s okay, perfection isn’t human, rated teen for a single curse word, soft, soon after 27 ("first date")
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 22:54:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,441
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27444448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thespacebetweenstars/pseuds/thespacebetweenstars
Summary: Sometimes a lifetime of isolation can get overwhelming. Sometimes you break down.This is what happens after.
Relationships: Carlos/Cecil Palmer
Comments: 7
Kudos: 81





	wither

The floor of the radio station was cold underneath his fingertips, and Cecil had never felt more alone.  
  
He was pressed against the wall, knees pulled to his chest. His skin was chilled, numb. The flow of tears had drained the last of his energy, leaving a hollow cavity in his chest.  
  
Loneliness clung to you. Made its mark. It was a cold that got under your bones and filled up your lungs.  
  
He has been lonely as a child, lonely as a teen, and he was still lonely now.  
  


_Except-_

His mind flashed back to the car outside Carlos’ lab. The kiss, the briefest touch, the warmth of his presence alone.

 _And how long will it be until he leaves, too?_ The ache pressed against his throat, a dampness wettening his lashes once more. Cecil sniffed, leaning forward to brush his curls back, and a tear rolled down his cheek. Biting back a sob, Cecil reached for his phone.

The screen was blank, void of messages in front of a violet backdrop. The time was-

“ _Shit._ It’s late.” He breathed in a sharp intake of air, before pushing himself off the floor to stand. Sliding his phone into his back pocket, he crossed the small space to the door. As he pushed the handle and left the recording studio behind him, each movement drained the little reserves he had left. He pushed his rolled-up sleeve back, fiddling with the fabric as he walked down the hall. Grateful that no one was left wandering the building to see him at his lowest.

An empty station. Dark spaces between the walls.

A single radio host. Unwanted.  


The drive home was a blur- choking back tears and squinting to focus on the road, swallowing the rising, numb ache in his chest. The lights blurred in his eyes, watercolors spilled across the page.   
  
His parking job was tilted, haphazard outside his apartment. He didn’t have the energy to care.  
  
Cecil slammed the car door behind him, but the sight made him stop short.  
  
His apartment stood, impassive and towering. He knew what lied beyond that short path, those stairs up to his door. An empty room. A cold bed. Stale food in the fridge. His silent suffering witnessed by the void alone.  
  
It seemed history repeated itself, after all.  
  
Running a hand over his arm against the chill, Cecil stepped up onto the sidewalk from the street. His neighbors' cars were there, too, in his peripheral vision. One pale blue, the other black, both monochrome in this empty night. They were parked, and they would still be, whether he was there or not.  
  
_If I disappeared tonight, would anyone notice?_ _  
  
_ His footsteps stopped short. Hands clenched, his throat felt tight. Pressure behind his eyes.  
  
Standing there in the yard, dead leaves littered at his feet, Cecil drew in a breath. He didn’t want to think like this.  
  
Cecil looked towards the sky.  
  
It was still there. Dark, nebulous sights, imperceptible above him. He was but a pinprick in the vastness of the cosmos- this night sky, like a dome above him.  
  
  
It was beautiful.  
  
  
The void, the stars, the indecipherable art of it. There was life above him, and around him, and he could do nothing but witness and love, and love, and love.  
  
_Saviors of us all_ , he loved so much.  
  
people , he loved without end, and without reciprocation. Most of all, he thought, he loved-  
  
A familiar voice hit his ears.  
  
“Cecil?”  
  
Cecil looked down from the sky. “.. Carlos?”  
  
  


The scientist was standing on the sidewalk. His flannel was muted in the moonlight, a subtle cherry red, rolled up to his elbows. The top button was undone, the collar softly falling to the side. His brows were contorted subtly, pinched together in concern. His mouth quirked into an unconscious smile. “What’re you doing out here?” Cecil adored the way his voice picked up at the end.  
  
Cecil blinked. “I- live here.” He glanced back at the building, pointing up at the second story. Leaves crunched softly behind him.  
  
When he turned back, Carlos was closer.  
  
“Here in the yard?” He teased.  
  
Cecil huffed an amused breath, looking down. “I was just- looking at the sky.” He titled his head back up, peering at Carlos. “.. And you?”  
  
“Just on a walk.” He glanced briefly up at the stars, curiosity in the tilt of his brows, the way he pursed his mouth. He had piercings, now, small, black circles- one in each ear. Simple, cute, perfect.  
  
He could admire him for eternity, and it still wouldn't be the all the time Carlos deserved.  
  
“Cecil, have you been crying?”  
  
Cecil blinked, looked away. He tried not to think of his darkened lashes, the tint to his eyes.  
  
“Ceec, hey,” Carlos’s voice came, sweet and smooth as caramel. He tilted his head, an uncertain hand wavering as if he wanted to reach out  
  
He barely managed to meet his gaze.  
  
Carlos’s eyes widened slightly. They were beautiful, twin circles of amber. They illuminated when caught in the sun. “.. Oh,” he sighed. “You have.” It was dark, now, though, and the absence of light turned them into the richest shade of oak. Cecil loved, and he loved, and he loved.  
  
And he always lost.  
  
“Oh, hey, hey,” Carlos’s hand was on his shoulder, his words softly consoling, as tears welled in Cecil’s eyes. “Come here.”  
  
Before Cecil could process it, he was being guided to the porch edge. They sat down there, Cecil pressing his thumb into his palm against the pressure in his chest.  
  
Carlos’s hand was tentatively on his shoulder. “Can I-?”  
  
Cecil nodded.  
  
A warm arm slipped around his back, Carlos’s chest pressing against his shoulder. The ache lightened.  
  
Carlos’ voice was close to his ear when he spoke, soft. “Do you want to talk about it?”  
  
Cecil glanced at him. He was so close now, warm skin and soft flannel. The scent of a campfire hung on his clothes, and Cecil knew that something had caught fire at the lab. Light amusement bloomed in his chest at the thought- was this everyday to him? How often did the memory of ash cling to his skin? Would he stay around long enough for Cecil to learn?  
  
The light feeling was dampened by that cold, constant fog.  
  
He didn’t know what to do with all the emotion in his chest, so Cecil chose what he did best. He opened his mouth, and talked.  
  
He talked about his isolation- an absent mother, a cold, distant sister. A friend who he always seemed to fail, until he was gone, the way that people slid out of his life as easily as they came into it, the distrust that grew with that.  
  
The way it hadn’t left. The loneliness. It had grown up with him, a parasite vine under his skin, sapping his warmth, his light, until he was withering alone.   
  
Carlos’s arm pulled tighter, pressing into the small of his back, a hand settled on his waist. His head rested on Cecil’s shoulder as he spoke, his lashes low, eyes flicking back and forth in subtle thought. The touch pulled him to Earth, grounded him. He was beyond grateful for it.  
  
“.. I’m here,” Was all Carlos said, once Cecil was done.  
  
And that was all he needed.  
  
He leaned into Carlos’s chest, letting his arms fully envelop him.  
  
“I’m not leaving anytime soon,” he reassured, his breath warming the skin of Cecil’s neck. “I mean-” he stammered. “Unless, you’d _want_ me to-”  
  
“I don’t.” The statement was sure, stable, calm. He drew in a small breath, resting his head on Carlos’s shoulder. His arm slipped around to hold the scientist, as well. “.. I may need reassurance from time to time, though. If you really plan on.. Staying.”  
  
Carlos smiled, carding a hand through Cecil’s curls. “That’s okay.” He brushed a dark lock from Cecil’s face. “I may as well.”  
  
  
  
The night was mostly quiet. Crickets hummed in the dried grass, a distant flow of sound.   
  
And then there was their breath. Soft, subtle, undercurrenting the heartbeat that Cecil felt from Carlos’ wrist where it curled over his arm. The other wrapped around his back, holding him close by the waist. His stomach was vulnerable where his fingertips rested, and Cecil was okay with that.  
  
Sometimes love is about being vulnerable.  
  
Liquid warmth pooled in his chest, thawing the remaining fog. Cecil let his eyes rest, knowing that the night sky would still be there when they opened, a vast, dark, and nebulous sight.  
  
He let _himself_ rest, knowing that Carlos would still be there throughout it all.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed ^^  
>   
> [tumblr: somehow-progressing](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/somehow-progressing)


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